1. How would you describe your current relationship situation?

I'm still in a relationship, but I feel constantly confused, emotionally drained, and unsure if it's love or something more harmful.

I've recently ended a relationship that left me feeling shattered, manipulated, or like I lost myself—but I'm still reeling and trying to make sense of it all.

I've been out for a while, but I keep finding myself in emotionally exhausting or toxic relationships and don't know how to break the pattern.

I'm not currently in a relationship, but I've definitely been through some emotionally damaging ones and want to understand what happened and how to grow.

None of these quite fit me, but I want to learn how to build healthier, more self-led relationships.

2. When you think back on your most difficult relationship, which of these thoughts or feelings comes up most often?

I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing what version of them I'd get.

I kept thinking it was my fault — like if I just did or said the right thing, they'd change.

I was so confused all the time. They could be kind one minute and cold the next — I didn't know what was real anymore.

I completely lost touch with who I was. I became a version of myself I didn't even recognise.

I'm not sure. I just know something felt wrong, but I couldn't explain why.

3. What impact has all of this had on you personally?

I feel like I'm constantly questioning myself—even simple decisions feel hard, and I never know if I'm overreacting or not.

I've lost a lot of confidence. I used to know what I wanted—now I just feel unsure, like I don't really know myself anymore.

My emotions are all over the place. Some days I'm angry, some days I'm numb, and I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm stuck.

I've built walls without realising. I keep people at arm's length, even the good ones, because deep down I don't really trust anyone.

I've been surviving, not living. I've kept it all going on the outside, but inside I just feel tired.

4. How do you tend to respond when something feels "off" in a relationship?

I tell myself I'm probably overthinking it and try harder to be a better partner—maybe if I just do more, it'll all feel okay again.

I bring it up gently, but if they get annoyed or shut me down, I back off. It's not worth the argument.

I convince myself I'm fine and power through, but underneath I feel anxious, hurt, or on edge all the time.

I keep a mental note of every weird moment, replay the conversations in my head, and try to make sense of it all on my own.

I get angry or shut down completely—it's like my nervous system takes over and I can't explain why I'm reacting that way.

5. What do you deep down believe about your role in relationships?

I feel like I have to keep the peace, meet everyone's needs, and not be too much—otherwise they'll leave or get angry.

I've always felt like I attract the wrong people. Maybe I'm just not cut out for healthy love.

I try to stay independent, but part of me believes I need someone else to feel whole or safe.

I know I deserve respect and care—but in the moment, I still second-guess myself or slip back into old patterns.

I honestly don't know. I've lost sight of who I am and what I even want in a relationship.

6. When someone crosses a line or hurts you, what usually happens next?

I minimise it, make excuses for them, or convince myself it wasn't a big deal.

I try to raise it gently… but they twist it, blame me, or make me feel guilty for bringing it up.

I bottle it up until I explode—or cut them off completely without explaining.

I freeze up. I want to say something, but I go blank or convince myself I'm overreacting.

I calmly explain how it made me feel and set a boundary.

7. What's your biggest fear when it comes to love and relationships?

That I'll lose myself completely trying to make someone else happy.

That I'll never truly feel safe—or that I'll always be walking on eggshells.

That I'll keep attracting the wrong people and get stuck in the same painful patterns.

That I'll mess things up by being "too much" or "too damaged."

That I'll settle for something that looks okay on the outside but quietly chips away at me again.

8. What tends to happen when you try to set boundaries or speak up about your needs?

They turn it around on me—I end up apologising or feeling guilty for even bringing it up.

It turns into a full-blown argument, so I stay quiet to keep the peace.

I get ignored, shut down, or made to feel like I'm too needy or dramatic.

I try to assert myself, but I often end up over-explaining or backtracking.

Honestly, I've never really been taught how to set boundaries properly—so I tend to just put up with things until I snap or walk away.

9. How do you see yourself in relationships, honestly?

I feel like I'm "too much" one minute and "not enough" the next — I can't seem to get it right.

I'm always trying to fix things or keep the peace, even when I know I'm the only one trying.

I tend to lose myself — I mould to what they want and only realise later I've completely disappeared.

I crave connection but also feel scared I'll get hurt again, so I keep people at arm's length.

I don't really know. I've spent so long worrying about how they see me that I'm not sure how I see myself.

10. What do you feel like you need most right now?

Clarity. I just want to stop overthinking and know for sure what's really going on.

Healing. I'm emotionally drained and need to understand what the hell just happened to me.

Support. I know I've got patterns to break but I don't want to do it alone anymore.

Tools. I want to work on myself, build confidence, and figure out how to never end up back there again.

I'm not even sure. I just know something needs to change, and I want to start somewhere.