Your Nervous System Isn’t Dramatic — It’s Traumatised

You flinch when someone raises their voice.
You tense when your phone lights up.
You apologise - again - for “overreacting.”

And yet, deep down, you know you’re not trying to make a scene. You just feel it - the tight chest, the racing heart, the split-second panic that doesn’t seem to match what’s actually happening.

Let’s be honest: it’s exhausting. And it can make you wonder if you’re damaged, dramatic, or somehow stuck in the past.

You’re not.

What’s happening isn’t weakness - it’s your nervous system doing its best to protect you after prolonged stress and threat. It’s not a character flaw. It’s biology.

🧠 Your body remembers what your mind tries to move on from

Here’s what emotional abuse does: it trains your nervous system to live on high alert.

When you’ve spent months or years in an environment where love came with criticism, silence meant punishment, and safety felt unpredictable, your body learned to scan for danger - constantly.

Your brain’s smoke alarm (the amygdala) got louder. Your logical brain (the prefrontal cortex) got sidelined.
And now, even when you’re out of that environment, your system hasn’t caught up.

It’s like your body’s saying:

“I know you say it’s over, but I’m still not convinced we’re safe yet.”

That jumpy feeling?
That sudden shutdown in an argument?
That inability to relax even when things are calm?

It’s not you being dramatic - it’s your body remembering what happened, and trying to make sure it never happens again.

⚡ When your body’s still in survival mode

Trauma doesn’t always look like panic attacks or flashbacks. Sometimes, it’s quieter - and much easier to dismiss.

It can look like:

• Hypervigilance: constantly bracing for a reaction, scanning for tone changes or tension.

• Freeze or fawn: shutting down or over-pleasing to avoid conflict.

• Numbness: feeling disconnected from joy, rest, or even your own body.

• Guilt: for being “too dramatic” or “too emotional.”

And because you survived through adaptation - not awareness - it’s easy to blame yourself for those responses now.

But remember this: your body doesn’t measure time the way your mind does.
If you haven’t felt safe for years, it won’t instantly relax just because you’ve left or “understood” what happened.

🌿 You can’t logic your way out of a survival response - but you can retrain it

Healing your nervous system isn’t about forcing calm. It’s about teaching your body that it doesn’t have to be on guard all the time.

Start small. Really small.

1. Ground before you think

When you feel yourself spiral, don’t rush to “understand it.” Instead, try:

• Placing your feet flat on the floor.

• Taking one slow, deep breath and naming five things you can see.

• Running cool water over your hands.

Regulate first, reason second.

2. Thank your body for protecting you

It sounds odd, but saying quietly, “thank you for trying to keep me safe,” can change your relationship with your reactions. You move from fighting them to understanding them.

3. Co-regulate with safe people

Healing isn’t always solo work. Your nervous system learned fear in connection - it often needs connection to learn safety too. That might mean a gentle hug, a calm voice, or sitting with someone who feels steady.

4. Notice small pockets of peace

Moments of safety - even five seconds of deep breathing, a warm mug, a soft song - begin to rewire your system. You’re teaching your body: See? Safety exists now.

💬 The truth: you’re not overreacting - you’re recalibrating

Recovery isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s about helping your body unlearn the constant alarm bells.

If you’re still jumpy, anxious, or tired all the time, it doesn’t mean you’re failing at healing - it means you’re still coming down from survival mode.

And you can take your time.
You’re not being dramatic - you’re healing in a world that taught you to be silent about your pain.

Your body isn’t your enemy. It’s the proof you survived.

I'd love to hear from you with your thoughts about this blog. Email me at [email protected]  with your feedback, experiences and ideas for other blog posts you'd like to see coming your way!

Eve x
Founder, The Healthy Relationship Company

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