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Why some people cannot take accountability in relationships and the psychology behind blame shifting
Why Some People Can Never Take Accountability: The Psychology of the Entitlement Schema abusive relationships accountability blame shifting coercive control coercive relationships darvo emotional abuse entitlement schema externalisation manipulation in relationships minimisation perpetrator psychology relationship psychology responsibility shifting toxic communication Jun 08, 2026

You rehearse it beforehand, working out how to frame it so it doesn't come across as something it isn't. You keep your voice level, say what you meant to say, and for a few exchanges it almost feels like it might go somewhere. Then, somehow, you are no longer talking about what you raised. You are e...

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Love, Decoded cover — “Why You Keep Thinking 'It Wasn't That Bad' After a Toxic Relationship" with subline “The psychology behind minimising abuse & how to reclaim your reality"
The “It Wasn’t That Bad” Trap - And Why It’s Hard to See the Truth abuse recovery minimisation self-doubt toxic relationships trauma Aug 11, 2025

You replay the arguments in your head.
You remember the moments they were kind.
And before you know it, the thought slips in:

“Maybe it wasn’t that bad.”

If you’ve ever found yourself downplaying a relationship’s damage - even one that left you drained, anxious, or questioning yourself - you’re no...

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Eve Howe-Robinson

Founder: The Healthy Relationship Company

With a decade in psychology and domestic abuse intervention, I blend evidence, empathy, and lived experience to help you heal, grow, and build something better?

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