Alcohol and drugs do not cause abusive behaviour.
They reduce inhibition.

That distinction matters more than most people realise.

Substances can impair impulse control, emotional regulation, and social restraint. What they do not do is invent values, attitudes, or belief systems that were not alre...

Let's talk about why insight doesn’t instantly erase attachment, and how to live from clarity anyway.

When old relationship patterns still show up even though you understand what happened, it isn't because you're regressing or secretly unsure. It's because insight changes your thinking faster than ...

After my last relationship ended, I couldn’t even pick a programme on Netflix without spiralling.
Every decision felt loaded: what if I choose wrong? What if this is another mistake?

It sounds silly, doesn’t it - crying over a remote control. But that moment told me everything I needed to know about...

Here's why your brain confuses emotional highs with chemistry - and how to retrain it to recognise real connection instead.

We mistake intensity for connection because our brains equate emotional adrenaline - the rush of excitement, the quick heartbeat, the uncertainty - with love and chemistry.

B...

Here's why your brain confuses emotional distance with chemistry - and how to finally change the pattern.

You promise yourself never again.

No more chasing mixed signals.
No more decoding cryptic texts or convincing yourself that “maybe they’re just busy.”

And yet… here you are again - overthinkin...

You flinch when someone raises their voice.
You tense when your phone lights up.
You apologise - again - for “overreacting.”

And yet, deep down, you know you’re not trying to make a scene. You just feel it - the tight chest, the racing heart, the split-second panic that doesn’t seem to match what’s...

You finally did it.
You left.
The relationship that drained you, broke you down, or made you doubt yourself is now behind you.

So why does it hurt so much?
Why does your chest feel hollow, the silence deafening, the loneliness unbearable?

Let’s be honest: leaving doesn’t always feel like instant f...

Let's talk about why your attachment style matters - and how to build healthier relationships, whatever your starting point.

Why Attachment Matters

Why do some people feel calm and confident in love, while others spend sleepless nights overthinking texts or pulling away when things get too close?

When we think about confidence-shattering relationships, most of us picture obvious put-downs, explosive arguments, or blatant control.

But in reality, the most damaging behaviours are often the quietest.
They don’t slam into you like a storm - they slip under the door like a draft, unnoticeable at...

You replay the arguments in your head.
You remember the moments they were kind.
And before you know it, the thought slips in:

“Maybe it wasn’t that bad.”

If you’ve ever found yourself downplaying a relationship’s damage - even one that left you drained, anxious, or questioning yourself - you’re no...

 “I swear you said that.”

“No, I didn’t. You’re imagining things.”

It’s a conversation you’ve had before - and it leaves you rattled.
You know you remember it. You can hear their voice saying the words.
But when they deny it with such certainty… a crack of doubt sneaks in.

Maybe I did get it wron...

Hello to my healthy relationship friends!

Welcome to Love, Decoded

Breaking down the science and psychology of relationships.

You know how relationships can make us feel on top of the world one minute… and like we’ve completely lost ourselves the next?

You’re not imagining it - love can be compl...