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DARVO in relationships explained - why you ended up apologising for things they did and the psychology behind the pattern
DARVO: Why You Ended Up Apologising for Things They Did accountability blame shifting coercive control darvo emotional abuse gaslighting manipulation in relationships perpetrator psychology psychological abuse relationship psychology self-doubt after abuse toxic relationships Jul 06, 2026

There's a conversation you can probably still replay in detail. You went into it with something specific to say, something that had hurt you, and you'd thought about how to say it fairly. Ten minutes later you were the one apologising. You were reassuring them, softening what you'd said, repairing a...

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Why some people cannot take accountability in relationships and the psychology behind blame shifting
Why Some People Can Never Take Accountability: The Psychology of the Entitlement Schema abusive relationships accountability blame shifting coercive control coercive relationships darvo emotional abuse entitlement schema externalisation manipulation in relationships minimisation perpetrator psychology relationship psychology responsibility shifting toxic communication Jun 08, 2026

You rehearse it beforehand, working out how to frame it so it doesn't come across as something it isn't. You keep your voice level, say what you meant to say, and for a few exchanges it almost feels like it might go somewhere. Then, somehow, you are no longer talking about what you raised. You are e...

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Eve Howe-Robinson

Founder: The Healthy Relationship Company

With a decade in psychology and domestic abuse intervention, I blend evidence, empathy, and lived experience to help you heal, grow, and build something better?

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