Home Contact The Collective Tools & Courses Coaching Blog
Love Decoded podcast blog header - Why Do I Miss Someone Who Hurt Me? The Psychology Explained
Why Do I Miss Someone Who Hurt Me? The Psychology of Thought Loops, Trauma Bonding, and Why You Can't Just Move On can't stop thinking about my ex coercive control recovery emotional abuse recovery intermittent reinforcement leaving an abusive relationship nervous system after abuse thought loops after breakup trauma bonding trauma bonding after breakup why do i miss someone who hurt me May 18, 2026

Why do I miss someone who hurt me - that's the question underneath almost everything in this post. You've left, or you've been out for a few months. You can see the relationship clearly enough - the pattern, the impact, what it cost you. You can articulate it. And yet your brain will

...
Continue Reading...

Eve Howe-Robinson

Founder: The Healthy Relationship Company

With a decade in psychology and domestic abuse intervention, I blend evidence, empathy, and lived experience to help you heal, grow, and build something better?

Categories

All Categories abuse awareness abuse recovery abusive relationships accountability anxiety after abuse anxious attachment attachment attachment and trauma attachment styles attachment theory attachment theory psychology attachment wounds avoidant attachment blame shifting boundaries can't stop thinking about my ex chemistry vs compatibility coercive control coercive control recovery coercive relationships cognitive dissonance communication issues confidence confusion in relationships connection covert control darvo dating psychology disorganised attachment domestic abuse emotional abuse emotional abuse recovery emotional availability emotional intensity emotional patterns emotional recovery emotional regulation emotional unavailability emotional withdrawal emotionally abusive relationships emotionally harmful relationships emotionally unavailable partners entitlement schema externalisation gaslighting healing after abuse healing after breakup healing after toxic relationships healthy communication in relationships healthy love healthy relationships high functioning women how attachment affects trust intermittent reinforcement leaving an abusive relationship loneliness love decoded love psychology manipulation in relationships minimisation nervous system after abuse nervous system and relationships nervous system healing nervous system regulation nervous system response perpetrator psychology personal growth power dynamics power imbalance psychological abuse psychological healing psychology psychology of control rebuilding confidence relational patterns relationship abuse relationship advice psychology relationship clarity relationship dynamics relationship education relationship habits relationship insight relationship patterns relationship psychology relationship recovery relationships relationships and attachment responsibility shifting secure attachment self doubt self regulation self trust self-awareness self-belief self-doubt self-doubt after abuse self-esteem self-trust substance misuse subtle abuse thought loops after breakup toxic communication toxic relationships toxic relationships and attachment trauma trauma and recovery trauma bonding trauma bonding after breakup trauma recovery trauma-informed healing trust your instincts unhealthy relationships walking on eggshells why can’t i leave why do i doubt myself why do i miss someone who hurt me why i attract the same type why people stay