Was I the Abusive One? Why You Reacted the Way You Did coercive control domestic abuse emotional abuse intimate terrorism perpetrator psychology primary aggressor provocation in relationships reactive abuse victim misidentification violent resistance was i the abusive one why i reacted Oct 12, 2026

If you were the one who ended up shouting, or the one whose messages look terrible written down, you've probably spent a long time wondering whether you were the abusive one too. That question has an answer, and it comes out of research rather than reassurance.

Most people can name the moment. Ther...

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